


It sucks you left me here alone

by BlueHeadphones



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxious Michael Mell, Bullying, Child Abandonment, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, First Love, Friendship, Gay Michael Mell, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It gets better I promise, M/M, Michael Mell Has Two Moms, Michael Mell Needs a Hug, Post-Squip Jeremy Heere, Post-Squip Rich Goranski, Pre-Squip Jeremy Heere, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Warnings May Change, briefly, expensive headphones, i love michaels moms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueHeadphones/pseuds/BlueHeadphones
Summary: When Michael gets left behind, his world shatters.Slowly, the pieces are being found and he gets help putting them back together again.Some pieces seem to be different... yet they still fit together.Should he accept change?Or should keep trying to avoid it==================Expensive Headphones, but first angst :(The first few chapters take playing mid-squip if that's what you'd call it, then after its all post-squip,Enjoy! Thanks for checking this fic out.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell, Rich Goranski/Michael Mell
Comments: 37
Kudos: 69





	1. Time to start the day

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Thank you for giving this a chance!  
> It is one of my few fics, the first thing I've written in a few years anyway.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the first chapter! This story diesnt many happy chapters in the beginning, so please enjoy!
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!
> 
> TW: (let me know if i left anything out)  
> *Homophobic language/slurs used in this chapter*

“Okay Michael, let’s do this thing…” the boy whispered to himself, putting a smile on his face.

He climbed out of his car, looking towards the school building.

“Time to start the day…”

Michael made his way through the halls, headphones blasting music. To others, he may just seem weird; walking on beat to the song, head swaying as he walked alone. To him, it’s what kept the people who thought he was weird, and all their opinions, out.

The only person he would willingly take his headphones off for was Jeremy.

That was willingly though. Of course, there were the people who didn’t let him shut them out, one of them being Richard Goranski.

“Hey fag, where’s your boyfriend?” someone said, grabbing the headphones off his head, other hand grabbing his arm.

Michael just looked down at his feet.

“Hey loser, answer me! Where’s that little boyfriend of yours, huh? Did he weave you all awone?”

Speak of the devil and he shall come. Rich Goranski couldn’t seem to go a day without tormenting him in some way. Today it seemed he was going the baby talk route of teasing.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Rich…”

“Aw come on, we know that’s not true! You must be blowing that buddy of yours behind the school like the queer you are!”

Michael’s eyes widened, looking up. His cheeks had turned red from embarrassment. “I told you, he’s not my boyfriend Rich! J-just leave me alone!”

If he thought things couldn’t get worse, he was dead wrong.

“What did you say to me?...”

The grip tightened and Michael swore Rich looked like he was about to box him in the face

“I-I’m sorry, just p-please let me go” Michael whimpered, his breath getting caught in his throat. He began to panic as he shut his eyes.

It was silent before the grip loosened, releasing him.

Rich shoved the headphones at Michael’s chest.

Something seemed off with the way Rich looked at Michael.

“Just get lost, loser,” the short boy said, shoving past the boy in the red hoodie. He must have lost interest early today”

Michael watched as his tormenter stormed off.

Letting out a sigh of relief, he lifted his glasses up, wiping his eyes.

“Hey, Michael!”

“Jeremy! Hey! What’s up, man! You look like ass, what’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing, bumped into Rich on the way to school. He kept teasing me about my crush on Christine. What’s up with you though? Your face looks a little red”

“Oh, Rich was just an ass again,”

He never tells Jeremy the whole truth. Today wasn’t as bad, but sometimes rich can be… a lot worse. If he someday mentions how bad Rich gets, he’d be scared Jeremy would think he shouldn’t listen to his advice, or not ask for it in case he thought Michael dealt with enough without his problems, which could never be true.

He was the advice guy. How can he be the advice guy if Jeremy didn’t look for his advice?

“Made fun of my music taste. Like he’d know what’s good and what’s not. Remember that time he was blaring his shit in the locker-room? Honestly thought my ears were gonna start bleeding.”

“I mean, he’s not completely wrong on your music”

“Hey! Don’t start with me, I’m already riled up. Anyway, wanna come over to my house after school? Play some apocalypse of the damned? Get stoned in my basement?”

“Of course. There’s nothing I’d rather do on a Thursday afternoon.”

The school bell rang out.

“See you at lunch!”

“See ya!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael went looking for Jeremy once he got his sushi and slushy.

His headphones were back on his head, the wise words of Bob Marley ringing through his ears.

“Hey fag!” he heard cut through the song. He turned his head to see who it was, even if he could already take a guess. He felt hands grab at his bag and someone moving one of the earpieces off his ear.

“Wash this off and your dead, Mell”

Michael immediately noticed the smell of a sharpie before he heard the sound of marker against material. Michael closed his eyes, a pouty look on his face. He had only gotten his new bag recently.

Rich shoved him away with a grunt, causing the boy to almost tripping over his own feet.

He looked back at Rich as he walked away, high fiving Jake Dillinger as a greeting.

He shook his head, sighing before looking where he was going once more.

He quickly noticed Jeremy, who smiled as he strutted over.

“Hope you haven’t missed me much,” Michael said, grinning from ear to ear as he wrapped an arm around Jeremy's shoulder

“Of course I have, you and your sushi breath!” Jeremy laughed, pushing his friend away.

“Wanna know what Rich did on my way to my last class?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me no matter what my answer is.”

“Aww see? This is why you’re my best friend!” he said, pinching Michael’s cheek. The boy quickly pushed his friend away, pouting as he tried to rub away the pain.

“Anyway, Rich wrote this on my backpack. I mean, boyf? What does that mean?” he said, showing it to his friend.

Michael’s eyes widened. He quickly took his own bag off, looking at what Rich had written on his own bag, lining it up with Jeremys.

“Boyf-riends… Rich seriously wrote Boyfriends on our bags? Does he really think we are together?” the lanky boy asked in disbelief.

Michael put a goofy smile on his face, hiding the small bit of discomfort.

He quickly took out his phone, snapping a picture of the backpacks.

“My mother’s would be thrilled!” he said with a laugh, Jeremy shaking his head as he put the bag back on.

“Speaking of your mothers, how are they doing? It’s been a while since I’ve seen Mindy and Diana. Do they not like me? They are always out of the house whenever I come over” the boy pouted.

“Of course they like you, how could they not? I think they have a similar mindset to Rich and try giving us “privacy”. I don’t have it in them to break their little hearts and tell them you don’t try pinning me down to my bed, and that you only use me to level up in our video games” Michael teased, making little kissy faces at his friend.

“Keep it in your pants, Mell! No one wants to see that shit” yelled their bully as he passed by the two at their locker, making Michael stop, glancing towards his feet once more.

“Ignore him Micah, he wishes he has friends he could be so comfortable around,” Jeremy said, trying to comfort his friend. He knew Michael worked hard with his self-confidence, and how quickly it can be broken down.

“Thanks…” he mumbled, putting his slushy straw in his mouth, sucking on it. If only he felt comfortable to tell Jeremy why Rich's words got to him.

He was just glad he had Jeremy to be there, even if he didn’t know the full extent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good afternoon Mrs. and Mrs. Mell!” Jeremy announced as he and Michael entered the house, going to the kitchen where the two women were found talking over two cups of coffee.

“Oh, Jeremy! Hi! We didn’t know you were coming over, we would have-” Diana started rambling, putting down her cup and hurrying over towards the two.

“Mamá, Jeremy and I are just friends!”

It took the women by surprise.

“You are?... but then what was all those noises the last time we were home?”

“What? What noises… Oh my god! Mamá that was just us playing apocalypse of the damned!”

“But the grunting?...”

“Sometimes Apocalypse of the damned can get pretty intense Mrs. Mell” Jeremy quickly answered, face bright red.

Cute.

“And even if we were together, why would we risk you guys hearing it by doing it during one of the days you are both here, and not on one of your date nights?! If we wanted to sneak a relationship, we would be smart enough not to do it when you are in the house.”

A laugh could be heard from the other side of the room.

“See Diana, I told you, you were overreacting.”

Mindy walked over to her wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Now, once again you may hear noises, but I promise you, we are doing nothing down here but blowing-“

Diana cleared her throat.

“Mamá! Let me finish my sentence! Blowing up zombies!” Michael huffed, grabbing Jeremy's arm.

“We are going downstairs now, bye~” he rushed, dragging his friend out of the room and to the basement.

“Wow. So the reason your moms have been avoiding me is that they thought that whenever I come over we planned on having hard-core gay sex? I’m… wow… now I just wonder who they thought bottomed. Hmm, definitely you” Jeremy laughed, jumping onto Michael’s bed, the other turning on the TV and grabbing the controllers.

“Oh fuck off Jere.”

“you aren’t denying it~”

Michael quickly flipped his friend off.

He tossed a controller to his friend, shaking his head when he saw the other decided to pose in a seductive way. Well, a would-be seductive way if his lips hadn’t been pursed like a duck.

“Wow, sexy. Get up Jere, you are messing my bed up!” he shook his head, pushing Jeremy away when he started making kissy faces.

“Oh come on, you know you love me!”

A knot formed in Michael’s stomach.

“Shut up and turn your controller on, man,” he laughed, “before I kick you out”

“Aw, you only want me for my super gaming skills and not my good looks?”

“Of course not Jeremy, I love you boyish charm, but that’s not useful to me getting past level 9. Now, sit up and help me bash in some brains!”

“Fine…” the other pouted, pressing play as he sat up.

“Wanna hear a funny story?”

“Sure”

“Well, Rich was in the bathroom today-“

“Okay I do not want to hear bathroom stories!”

“Just listen, Michael!”

“Fine…” the boy pouted, focusing back on the game.

“As I was saying, Rich was in the bathroom as I tried to wash ‘boyf’ off my bag, and you know, he gave out to me, teasing and all that shit. Then, he started talking, as he was peeing! And he was doing body rolls! Who does that?”

“Jere, I said I loved you and that I wanted to hear a story, but if this is just about Rich and his peeing habits, I don’t want to hear it! I also don’t want to hear about why you watched,” he said, nose scrunched in disgust.

“I did not watch! I told you to listen Michael~,” the lanky boy whined, kicking his legs a little.

“Okay, okay! Stop your whining, you baby!”

“Thank you… now, rich was being an ass, when he started freaking out! I mean, yelling, screaming, flailing, thrashing around on the floor and against the wall”

Michael couldn’t help snorting when he pictured it in his head.

“So Rich is really freaking out on the floor, and I tried to leave, because you know, why would I want to be in there with Rich?! But he yelled at me, telling me not to leave. Then guess what he told me.”

“Jeremy I have no idea what he could have possibly said unless he was calling you tall again.”

“Well, yes, but no! He told me he went to our school freshmen year! I mean, can you remember him? Because I sure can’t. He said he was like us; a nobody! And he had a lisp!”

“Do you really believe him? If he was like us, how did he possibly get to where he was in less than a year?”

“He told me how! He told me it was this thing called a squip.”

“A squip? Really?”

“Yes! It’s this pill from japan, a quantum computer that implants in your brain and tells you what to do, and how to be cool! And it only costs 600 dollars!”

Michael paused the game, taking his phone out.

“I wouldn’t bother trying to search for it. Nothing comes up. He told me he could hook me up with one, that if I take it I could-“

“Become a bully? Jere, he’s scamming you. Scamming you super weirdly”

“No he’s not! I just have to give our tormentor… 600.. Dollars… okay, he’s scamming me.”

“Why would you want to be like that anyway? He’s a… bad person Jere. What good could that do for you?” Michael asked, sitting up to look at his friend.

“I just… if I was popular, maybe Christine would notice me and… start to like me… why don’t we just check it out? He gets his supply from the back of the payless shoe store. Let’s check it out and see if it’s real!”

Michael put a sad smile on his face, placing a hand on Jeremy's shoulder, causing the boy to look up at his friend.

“If she doesn’t like you for you, is she really who you want?..” he asked, even though he knew the answer. This was the boy who was willing to implant a computer to his brain to get her he was talking to.

“Yes Michael... You know I’ve been crushing on her since middle school. I just want the skills to be able to talk to her. I’ll still be me though.

“How can you be so sure? If this thing is real, how can you be sure that you won’t end up just like him? You said yourself that he was exactly like us before, why would you be different to him?”

“Because I have you Micah…” oh that damn nickname.

Jeremy knew that was Michael’s weakness.

“But… Jere, what if you become too cool for me? Too cool to come over and get stoned... Too cool to be my… player two…”

‘Too cool to be seen with me’

“That could never happen Michael… you know you are my favourite person, right? No pill could change that. Let’s just check it out and see if it’s legit. Please Micah?...”

Michael looked down towards the bedsheets.

“Fine Jere. For you and your stupid fantasies. Promise me you won’t be too cool for me though?

“Of course I won’t be, you idiot. How cool do you really think I,” Jeremy made a big gesture of pointing at himself, "Can be?

“We can go check it out now. Well drop off at your house and pick up all the money you have. I can give you whatever you are missing. You’re lucky I haven’t smoked anything yet.” He groaned, standing up.

“Thanks, Michael. really. I seriously owe you one.”

Michael smiled down at his friend who was still sitting, looking at him with grateful eyes.

“You can repay me when you are popular.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something has changed between Jeremy and Michael... but one of them doesn't know why.  
> and he may not take it well... at all.
> 
> (A part of this chapter switches briefly to Rich and his squip, sorry if that causes confusion)  
> (also the voice in Michaels's head isn't a squip, just his insecurities, and anxieties)
> 
> || TW ||  
> Homophobic language  
> Bullying  
> Panic/anxiety attacks
> 
> Let me know if I've missed any!

Michael walked through the hall, headphones on. He wasn’t having the best of days, Jeremy not seeming to see him this morning. Every time Michael tried to get his attention, it was as if his friend couldn’t hear him.

He gave up, keeping to himself for the rest of the day, going to class and staying out of people’s ways. It was bad enough Jeremy wasn’t paying him any attention, but he wasn’t even answering the messages he sent him.

Had he done something wrong?

‘Of course, you have. What haven’t you done wrong?’ the voice In the back of his head said.

‘Maybe he’s just having a stressful day… it's probably nothing to worry about’ he thought, pushing the voice down, taking a deep breath.

“I can survive for a day on my own. Just pretend he’s not even here…”

He mumbled the fourth time he passed Jeremy in the halls.

Even during classes, he didn’t pay attention to him, not turning to laugh with Michael at funny moments, not making comments about teachers, nothing.

He could understand if Jeremy at least acknowledged his presence. Even a head nod in his general direction would do.

He considered just leaving school for the day. It’s not like anyone would miss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During lunch, Michael had taken notice of the strangest thing.

Jeremy smiled.

At a girl. Brooke for that matter. The same girl Jeremy had complained to him about less than a week ago.

Now here he was, smiling at her as if they were friends.

And she was smiling back!

The boy who was ignoring his friend was having a chat with the girl Michael least expected to even know Jeremy's name.

How did this happen?...

How come he was sitting alone at their usual table, whilst Jeremy was talking to one of the hottest girls in school?

How come Jeremy was ignoring his best friend of 12 years?

‘You know why. He always hated you. Now he just has the confidence to leave you behind.’

“Not true…”

‘Of course it is. Who wants abandoned trash like you? You knew the day would come he'd realise it. You were just waiting for the inevitable. Now it’s just a matter of time before your mothers do too and you get left again’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little while later in the day, Michael had gotten permission to leave the class to go to the nurse’s office.

His stomach felt like it was tied up in knots, his anxiety getting worse throughout the day. Jeremy ignoring him made his brain race, trying to come up with reasons why. Of course, none of them were very rational. He knew shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself from listening to them.

‘He's gotten sick of you’

‘He’s uncomfortable with your mums thinking you are together’

‘He hates you’

‘He realised He’s too good for you’

‘He knows.’

He froze when he heard his name being called out from a familiar voice, all those thoughts exiting his head.

“Michael! Hey! Where have you been all day?”

Michael turned around, putting his hood down and taking his headphones off and putting them around his neck. He faced his friend. He couldn’t believe he was acting as if he had been the one not trying to reach out. He hated how even just being acknowledged by the other made his stomach feel a little more at ease.

“Where have I been? Jeremy, I’ve been trying to talk to you all day! You’ve been ignoring me, acting as if I’m not even there! As if you can’t see me… what’s been going on with you?”

He watched as Jeremy turned away, looking confused, before speaking. He just watched as Jeremy had a conversation with himself.

“Uh Jeremy?... why are you standing there all creepily?... and talking to yourself… Wait!”

The squip! It must have worked! That’s what’s been up with Jeremy.

“It worked, didn’t it! Oh my god, Jeremy, this is amazing! We have to test it out! We have to celebrate! We have to… to… to get stoned in my basement!”

Jeremy continued to talk to himself for a while, making Michael confused. He could only hear snippets of what Jeremy had been saying.

When Jeremy turned back to him, he put a big smile on his face.

“Come on man, are you coming? I mean, I was meant to be at the nurse but we can always-“

“Optic Nerve Blocking on.”

Michaels's face fell as he saw Jeremy walk away.

“Jeremy? Hey! What does optic nerve block mean?” he asked, walking after him a little. He noticed his heart seemed to beat a little faster when Jeremy didn’t even acknowledge him. He just continued walking, ignoring Michael’s calls for him.

Tears filled Michael’s eyes, his breathing becoming short but rapid.

‘See? He wants nothing to do with you’

His vision became blurry.

He knew it was useless to keep calling out to Jeremy, and the only thing he should do now was to get himself help.

He tried to look around, disorientated.

He rubbed his eyes, panting. He tried to figure out which way he had to go to get to the nurse's office, but the room felt like it was spinning.

He took a few steps, reaching for something, anything, to help ground him in reality and stabilize himself.

He slid to the floor, knowing there was no use trying to go to the nurse. Not in the state he was in. He had a knot in his stomach and he was trembling all over

The fear that the bell would ring and he’d be surrounded by people, Loud, loud people, staring at him, making fun of him, it definitely didn’t help him.

He shut his eyes as he fumbled with his headphones, trying to put them on his head. He took out his phone, trying to play one of his songs, so he had something familiar to help try to calm him down.

He tried to steady his breathing, gripping at the material of his hoody as he sat against the wall, shaking.

He heard a door open and close near him and he tensed, eyes shutting tighter as he curled up into a ball.

Footsteps came closer towards him.

“What the?... You hiding, queer?” he heard in the background, already fearing the situation he was in.

He continued to breathe heavily, shaking head a little as he gripped at his head. Of course Rich was the one to find him like this.

“N-n-no” he choked out, trying to focus on his breathing.

“What? Are you scared or something fat ass?- oh… oh shit”

Michael could hear the footsteps coming towards him and a hand fell on his shoulder. He jumped with a small yelp, causing his headphones to fall off in the process.

Rich immediately moved his hand, looking at him. His mouth was slightly parted and his brows were pulled together from what seemed like worry.

“H-hey it’s okay… what’s wrong? Are you hurt?... do you need me to get the nurthe?” the short boy said, speaking with a lisp at the end of his sentence. Michael looked up at Rich, seeing the blurry outline of the boy who had begun to hit his head.

Michael looked up at him, wiping his eyes once more, getting a little scared of the other boy in front of him.

“Come on loser! Will I get the nurse or not?!” he yelled with gritted teeth, beginning to lose his temper. Michael nodding instantly as he let more tears roll down his cheeks, breath getting heavier as he pulled at his hair. He cowered away from the boy, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as possible.

Rich’s expression softened a little before he stood up, running off to go get help for the boy who felt helpless on the ground.

Michael waited for what seemed like hours before the pairs of footsteps could be heard coming towards him.

A woman kneeled down next to him.

“Michael? Michael, can you hear and understand me? Tap the top your head if you can” she said, watching the boy closely for the signal. it was just a small gesture to show he knew what was going on, not requiring much movement on his part, or any speaking.

After a second, he quickly released the grip on his hair and tapped his head.

“Okay good… do you know who I am? Tap your head for yes”

Again, another tap.

“Alright, that’s great Michael. I am going to touch you now okay? I am going to help you stand up, alright? I need you to help me out with that. If you need, I’m sure Richard here can help us out, okay? If you feel another pair of hands on you, it’s just Richard. Don’t you worry, okay? It’s all to help you get to my office. Take deep breathes for me now” the nurse said, one hand behind Michael’s back and the other on his arm.

Slowly, she helped him stand up, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, her hand supporting his back.

“Richard, if you wouldn’t mind, he seems too weak for just me to be able to help him.”

“Of course Miss. Barton,” the other said, helping Michael steady himself before they began to walk in the direction of the nurse’s office.

“That’s it Michael, you're doing so well, almost there. Just keep on breathing.”

Soon the trio reached the door, Rich opening it with his free hand.

They lead Michael inside, setting him down on the nurse’s bed, keeping him sitting.

“There we go, don’t worry, you are in my safe office now. I’m going to get you water; I want you to drink it all slowly. Keep breathing, you are doing so well. You are already looking much better,” Miss Barton said, quickly getting a cup to fill.

Michael looked towards the other person who had yet to leave the room.

He couldn’t help but wonder why Rich had even helped.

He usually liked to be the cause of Michael’s misery, so why did he help him? What would he gain from this? Michael couldn’t help but fear for the moment Rich decided he would make him repay him for the help.

“You know Richard; usually you end up sending kids in here because of some injury you’ve given them. This is the first time the person didn’t have a black eye or injured wrist!”

“Don’t get used to it, Miss.” He mumbled under his breath, Michael being the only one to hear it.

He noticed Rich’s eyes flicker towards him as he said it, causing the already anxiety-ridden boy to breathe even faster, gripping the side of the bed as he looked up at Rich.

Miss Barton took notice of the way Michael began to breathe quickly again and hurried to his side with the water. The boy took it with shaky hands, raising it to his lips as he began to sip at the cold liquid. He made sure he didn’t gulp it down

“Here you go now, drink this up okay?... Easy does it… Thank you for your help Richard, but I think that is everything is under control now. Take this,” she said as she wrote a note to explain his absence from his class.

“Give it to your teacher when you get back to class, but hurry. The bell will ring in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, Miss. See you later headphones. Feel better,” rich said, giving a small wave before sauntering out of the room, closing the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael had calmed down significantly, lying down on the nurse bed with a cold, wet towel on his forehead.

Miss Barton had gone on her break once Michael had begun to breathe properly again. He assured her that he would be okay for 10 minutes, which was all she would allow herself. She wouldn’t want to risk taking any longer than that in case something had happened whilst she was gone, and she didn’t like leaving her office much in case someone needed her.

He looked towards the door when he heard it open, expecting to see the kind lady once more. Instead, he saw Rich, poking his head in. when he saw Michael and no nurse, he walked in, making his way towards the bed.

“Listen fag. You say I helped you to anyone, you are dead got it?” he said, glaring at the boy on the bed. “Don’t go catching feelings because I helped you. You are lucky I even risked touching you. Who knows what diseases you’ve got.”

Michael’s eyes widened, sitting up slightly as he took the towel off his head.

He readjusted his glasses with one hand, pushing himself up with the other.

“I-I… don’t… I…” he muttered before finding his voice. “T-thank you for-”

“Shut it!”

Michael flinched back, eyes shutting.

“Listen, fat-ass! I just need to make sure you don’t go chatting about this to anyone else. If you do, I’ll cut that pretty little mouth right off your face so that not only can you not tell others about this, you won’t be of any use to anyone else. You know, ‘cause you seem to be only good for blowjobs. Tell me, are the rumours true?” Rich asked, a mischievous grin on his face, smirking, knowing that he was upsetting the boy. He could hear his Squip’s praise.

_‘Good job Rich, now there is less of a chance that people finding out you helped him. You are lucky. I had seen outcomes where word got out and you were ruined. Wouldn’t want that now, would we? I won’t give you any punishment for going against my orders since you seeing as you seem to be dealing with it splendidly all on your own. I’m teaching you well. Good boy. Now, I’ll help you with the rest. Repeat after me’_

“I heard you’ve given a blowjob to anyone who’s asked? That sometimes you go out asking them yourself when you get really desperate? Tell me something, are you really that easy? Is that why your little Jeremy left you? He realised you probably caught something and didn’t want to be seen with someone like you anymore?” Rich said with a sneer.

_‘Well done. You’ve successfully changed the outcome of your actions Rich. Don’t stop just yet though. Have some fun with it.’_

Michael stared at him with wide eyes, not sure what to say to respond to him.

‘Is this… is this really what people think of me? I’m not... I didn’t even come out. Who started those rumours? I’ve never even kissed a guy!’ he thought, grabbing at the hem of his hoodie.

‘You are too obvious Michael. Everyone knows. They’ll want nothing to do with you, not that they did before.’

He pulled on his hoodie, shaking his head slightly.

“What? Was I wrong? I doubt that Mikey. Why else would your friend leave you? Is it not obvious to you?”

Michael bit on the bottom of his lip, shaking his head.

He curled up, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt like he was going to shut down again.

“You… No… I never-” he choked out.

“Yeah? Are you sure? Because anyone who said they got with you told me that you felt like a girl. You had soft lips that knew just how to please them” he continued, biting his lip with a grin.

“Almost convinced me once or twice to test you out for myself. Of course, I then remembered, I wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere near a fag like you” he finished, hitting Michael’s shoulder with the back of his hand.

Michael shrank further into himself as he tried to calm down, taking deep breaths.

“If I was really th-that desperate to get with anyone, why-wh-wh-why wouldn’t I have asked you? Y-you basically admi-mi-mi-mitted that n-not even the desperate would want to get with you...” Michael said quickly in between his fast breaths, immediately regretting his choice. He looked up at the boy.

“You little shit…” he said, grabbing Michael by the neck of his hoodie, pulling him closer.

“You better keep your mouth shut. Even if you like getting your validation from the guys you open it for” he growled, throwing Michael back, the boys head hitting the wall.

He hissed, eyes squinting as he grabbed the top of his head. He heard the door slam as Rich left. A slightly dizzy and panicky Michael closed his eyes whilst he caught his breath on the bed, letting the last few tears that had welled up in his eyes roll down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry if I got anything wrong with how panic/anxiety attacks are,,  
> If you have any advice on how to write those for future reference, please let me know!
> 
> If you found anything confusing let me know and I'll explain
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Leave a Kudos and give a comment!


	3. My mothers... aren't so thrilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives a little insight as to why exactly Michael had a panic attack in the last chapter, as well as getting to know Michaels's mothers better!
> 
> I hope you enjoy,
> 
> This chapter mentions child abandonment,  
> if anything isn't written clearly, just ask about it in the comments!
> 
> Translations for anything that is not in English is at the end,  
> Please note I speak neither Spanish or Tagalog, but seeing as Michaels parents do, and he speaks both fluently, they should use it sometimes?  
> If you do happen to speak either language and find anything is written incorrectly, please let me know!!
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!

Michael stormed into the house, throwing his bag down next to the door before taking off his shoes.

“Michael?” he heard his mom call for him from upstairs.

“Is everything okay?”

“I’ll be in my room,” he replied, avoiding the question.

He walked to the door leading to the basement. He ran down the stairs, ignoring how Diana called after him.

(Her wife had to stop her from going down to him, knowing that if she did, an argument would probably be the outcome.

“Let’s leave him be for a little while, mahal. He wants to be alone, so let’s let him calm down before we chat with him.”)

Michael sighed as he jumped on his bed, closing his eyes.

He dragged his hands down his face, taking off his glasses and putting them on his bedside table. He glanced towards his clock and groaned.

3:30pm.

Before everything, he would have dropped Jeremy off at home, maybe even staying there for a small while, but for the past few weeks he’s been coming straight home.

He never realised before how much time he actually spent with Jeremy on a daily basis.

‘That’s why he left you. You were too much for him, constantly breathing down his neck.’

He began scrolling through Instagram, going through the posts of his classmates. Usually he and Jeremy would have been making fun of some of the popular people’s posts, laugh at the weird drama or the posts specifically made to make them seem great. Now though, it just hurt to look at, considering Jeremy now appeared in some of them.

Michael sat up tired of seeing Jeremy have fun with his new friends. He needed something else to do, something to occupy his mind and stop him from thinking about him.

Video games?

Yeah why not. What could go wrong with that?

He stood up, walking to his TV to grab his switch from the charging dock, glancing towards the case of the last game he played on his Xbox.

Apocalypse of the damned.

His stomach twisted.

He still hadn’t taken the disk out of the console yet, meaning he hadn’t played any other old Xbox games in the last 3 weeks. He couldn’t bring himself to play it on his own, knowing he wouldn’t be able make any progress without his player 2.

Plus, it was his and Jeremys game. The entire progress they made was together, and Michael planned on making sure everything done in this game was done by the two of them, even if it means there would be no more progress being made ever.

He grabbed his switch, walking back to his bed, leaning against the headboard. He slipped his glasses on once again, starting his game up. he played it for the next he kept trying and trying to think about anything else, anything at all, but by the third time he got stung by wasps in animal crossing he realised the game wasn’t helping in the slightest.

He quickly turned his game off, dropping the switch next to him.

“I’m too tired for this…”

“Hopefully you are hungry too iho,”

Michael whipped his head around to the bottom of the stairs that lead to his room. He saw his mom standing there.

“Come on, dinner is ready. Diana is waiting upstairs for us.”

“Coming nanay…” he mumbled, standing up. He shuffled his way towards his mother, leaning against her as she pat his head.

“Come on, we don’t want her to get angry at us or else we’ll be sleeping outside without food” she chuckled, taking his hand before leading him upstairs.

Michael closed the door behind him, being led to the kitchen.

“Something smells delicious,” he said with a smile, taking a seat at the dinner table.

“Well, we knew you have been having a difficult time, so I thought to myself, what could I do to make mi tesoro feel better? Oh, I know! Why don’t I make him his favourite!”

He let out a gasp.

“Llapingachos?”

“Yup! Llapingachos with salsa de maní, alongside some chorizo sausage, fried egg, and some tomato salad, just as you like it!”

Michael’s eyes widened, watching as his mamá brought his plate over to the table, setting it in front of him.

“Oh mamá thank you so much! This looks amazing!” he said, instantly feeling better.

“Good, I’ve been working on it since you came home!” Diana said, taking a seat next to Mindy.

“Thank you honey” she says, pecking her wife’s cheek before she dug into her food.

“How is it?”

“Mmm!” Michael made a noise of approval, stuffing as much food as he could into his mouth. “So good! Thank you so much mamá.”

“Anything for you mi’jo” she said with a smile, beginning to eat, herself.

They all sat in silence as they ate, enjoying the meal. Michael was the happiest he’s been all day, grateful for the effort his mother’s put into caring for him, making sure he’s happy.

“So,” Mindy said, breaking the silence.

Michael looked up at her with a mouth full of food.

“What plans do you have for Halloween? It’s next Sunday, not a lot of time left. Do you have a costume?”

“Oh uh, probably just stay here. Help give candy to the kids, I don’t know. No costume though” he said with a shrug. Usually, he and Jeremy would have done something together but that obviously isn’t happening this year.

“Really? That’s… different… How are things between you and Jeremy? Has it gotten any better?”

Michael froze, looking down towards his plate.

“No nanay… I told you, he’s not my friend anymore”

“What happened between the two of you? Why won’t you tell us mi’jo?” Diana asked, reaching a hand out towards the one he had resting on the table.

He quickly pulled it away.

“N-Nothing happened mamá!”

“Come on mi’jo, I know that’s not true!”

Michael tensed up, eyes closed.

‘You know she’s just trying to make you feel better. She’s envious that Jeremy got to leave so easily.’

“It is! He just… he wants nothing to do with me anymore mamá. One day he just decided I wasn’t worth the time of day. I’m invisible to him! I didn’t do anything… I didn’t!...” His voice started to quiver towards the end, tears pooling in his eyes.

“Oh iho…” Mindy said, standing up. She walked to the other side of the table, taking the empty seat next to him, moving the chair closer to his before pulling him into a hug.

“It’s okay iho. Let it out…” she whispered, Michael immediately letting out a choked sob.

She squeezed him tighter, rubbing his back.

“We are both here for you iho...”

Michael just sighed after the tears stopped rolling.

“For how long?...” he mumbled under his breath.

He didn’t expect for them to hear him.

“What’s that supposed to mean Michael?” Diana asked, frowning.

“N-nothing mamá...”

“Then why did you say it?”

“B-because I’m... I’m scared…”

“Why mi’jo?” she asked, voice dripping in concern.

Mindy ran her fingers through his hair.

“Because… Nanay is there something wrong with me?”

He turned his head toward the woman holding him.

“What? Of course not! Why would you even think something was wrong with you?”

“Well… e-everyone just seems to leave me… I do nothing yet they leave… Jeremy left, my parents-”

“You stop right there Michael! They were never your parents.”

“Yes, they were mamá! And yet they… they still left me. They left me there mamá! W-why would they leave me?... how could they just do that?! All I left me with was a bag on my back with my passport and birth-cert. What could I have possibly done for them to do that?”

Michael’s eyes were cast downwards, unable to look at his mothers.

“And now Jeremy? I did nothing yet he abandoned me too. What is it about me that makes people want to leave me?...”

“Don’t be talking like that! There is nothing wrong with you Michael, nothing. You are an amazing young man. We couldn’t even begin to imagine life without you! You are our son-“

“But I was their son too. I was their son, they were my parents.”

Diana shook her head, frown deepening.

“They were not your parents. They were-“

“The people who had sex and gave birth to their unwanted child. a small baby who they tossed around, hurt, would sometimes forget to feed, later decided they couldn’t be bothered to even try care for and left him behind as they went god knows where! Leaving him to question when mommy and daddy were coming back” he said, crying once more. “Leaving him for god knows who to find…”

Mindy closed her eyes. She hated thinking about her sons biological parents. Hated thinking about what they did. Hated thinking of what could have happened had he been found by the wrong person. Hated thinking about how his biological parents either didn’t consider that could happen, or couldn’t care that it could.

Instinctively she held him tighter.

“And luckily you were found by the right people though Michael. Luckily they brought you to the cops. Luckily they couldn’t find information as to where you came from, only knowing what your ethnicity, age, and name was. Luckily they brought you to the doctor and discovered how unhealthy, and hurt and injured you were. Luckily they decided you deserved a good life and knew that if they found your… parents,”

She made quotation marks around the word parents,

“You would never get that, so they brought you to the adoption agency. Luckily we decided we should pay a visit and see if we were ready for a child.

“At least, some people call it luck. Your mamá and I though?” she looked up at Diana who was trying to muffle her cries before turning back to Michael who just stared silently as tears poured from his eyes.

“Well we call it fate. What I’m trying to say mahal, is that there are so many things that could have gone differently, but they didn’t, and here we are. Us as your parents who love and adore you. Not them. They are nobodys who missed out on the best person in the world. They didn’t care enough to deserve the title of being your parents, even if technically they are due to biology.

“Real parents would never willingly leave their child. We will never, ever, leave you Michael. If you ever question whether or not we are telling the truth, you know what you just need to remember?” she asked, taking his glasses off. She cupped his face, making him look in her eyes as she wiped his tears away with her thumbs.

“What?...”

Mindy looked over at her wife, smiling a little.

“We adopted you. We could have chosen anyone in thee to be our child. To be our son or daughter, but we saw you and knew you were our son. We knew we could love and care for you. We knew no one could take care of you like we could, that no one else would be able surround you and keep you connected to your roots and culture as much as we could.

“We picked you, Michael. We picked you over anyone.”

Michael let out a small cry of happiness, face scrunched up in a sad smile.

“We aren’t going anywhere mi’jo. Te quiero,” Diana piped in after calming down from her own little cry.

“Yo también te quiero,” he said before turning back to Mindy.

“Mahal kita”

“Mahal din kita, iho.”

“I’m sorry for implying you would leave… Just with Je- him ignoring me, some thoughts have been resurfacing. My anxiety hasn’t been okay recently either, as you know from that panic attack I had at school. I’m sorry for even thinking you could do that.”

“I say I speak for the both of us when I say it did hurt us Mikey. It would be lying to say it didn’t, but, we know it isn’t your fault. We know you hate having those thoughts mi’jo, but if there is ever a next time, please think about what you say before you say it” Diana sighed, standing and walking to the other side of the table, staying beside Mindy as she looked at him.

“And Michael… we know you said you were doing better since you asked to take a break from therapy to see how you do, and you were! Really, it made us so proud to be able to see you not needing that anymore… but that was before. You said it yourself; you have been getting worse since he left. It’s been taking a heavy toll on your mentally, and a lot of your previous work has been undone. Maybe it would be best to book another session with Dr. Cole…”

Michael had thought about it himself. He knew the day after his panic attack that he should probably go back, at least once or twice. Hell, even before Jeremy had left that although he was a lot better, sometimes the voice in his head was louder than his own, and he still had a lot he could get help with.

“Okay nanay… I don’t think it could do any harm… could we try getting the same slot I used to have though? Saturday afternoons?”

“We can definitely try iho. Next Saturday? That gives you a week to prepare if needed.”

“That sounds… good. Thank you nanay.”

“Anything for you, Mahal. Anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Mi Tesoro ~ my darling (Spanish)  
> Te Quiero ~ I love you (Spanish)  
> Yo Tambien te Quiero ~ I love you too (Spanish)  
> Mi’jo ~ my son/son (Spanish)  
> Iho ~ son (Tagalog)  
> Mahal ~ love (Tagalog)  
> Mahal Kita ~ I love you (Tagalog)  
> Mahal din Kita ~ I love you too (Tagalog)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm so sorry this chapter took a while,  
> I didn't feel as motivated to write, but after getting a string of comments my confidence was boosted and made me motivated once more to continue writing!!
> 
> Anyway, so the next few chapters actually take place the day before Halloween,   
> I did not mean to write so much about what happened that day, but it just kept going and going,  
> Whoops?
> 
> We meet two new people here though
> 
> and a little note,   
> the character named Evan is in no way related to Evan Hansen!   
> I only realised after I wrote the chapter that they shared a first name,  
> I could have changed it but the name Evan just sort of fits? just fits the character I have in my head.
> 
> Anway, I hope you enjoy some happy-ish Michael!!

Michael closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

He didn’t need it. He didn’t.

He promised his moms that he would cut back, and he didn’t feel like disappointing them any more than he already has.

He could go one day without it.

He had to.

He couldn’t cave in again.

He looked around the room from where he lay, sprawled out on the bottom half of his bed like a starfish. His legs hung off the end of his bed, still in the position they were in when he had been sitting up playing games.

He needed a distraction, anything to occupy his mind.

His leg started bouncing as he puffed out his cheeks

“I can do it! I don’t need them, no! I’m perfectly fine without them!

His phone lit up and started beeping, catching his attention.

“Oh thank god”

Michael quickly sat up, scrambling towards his bedside table.

He didn’t care why he what the notification was about, world war three, a new disease, Jesus returning, as long as it would distract him, he didn’t care.

His brows furrowed as he saw it was a text.

Who’s texting him?

Not that it mattered much.

It was an unknown number

“I swear if Rich somehow…” he muttered under his breath, fearing the worst.

**_ Unknown: _ **

_Is this Michael Mell?_

He hesitated before giving a quick response.

**_ Michael Mell: _ **

_Uh, yeah that’s me._

He knew he hadn’t given anyone his number recently, not that he could remember anyway.

A knot grew in Michael’s stomach as he watched the three dots appear in the corner, disappearing once before reappearing.

**_ Unknown: _ **

_Good. I was worried Theo gave me the wrong number for a sec_

‘Okay, so this guy knows the guy I usually get my shit from at Spencer’s… why the fuck is Theo giving my number away?’

Almost as if the guy could read his mind, another text came through.

**_ Unknown: _ **

_I’m just filling in for him at spencers whilst he’s on vacation,, and I know what you’re thinking, who takes a vacation in October, but he did not want to be around during Halloween so here I am!_

**_ Unknown: _ **

_The names Evan_

Michael smiled a little, quickly adding him as a contact.

**_ Evan the *new* Spencer’s guy: _ **

_He told me he hooks you up whenever he gets discontinued items in. told me to text you if anything gets delivered. Just got a few cases of Mountain dew Red in_

**_ Michael Mell: _ **

_Code red?_

**_ Evan the *new* Spencer’s guy: _ **

_Yeah, of course, I’m talking about the soda that you can easily get at a 7/11_

**_ Evan the *new* Spencer’s guy: _ **

_No you doofus, I’m talking about the Mountain Dew Red that got discontinued it ‘88_

**_ Michael Mell: _ **

_Wait shit really?! Holy shit I’ll be there soon! Thank you for telling me_

**_ Evan the *new* Spencer’s guy: _ **

_Thank Theo for giving me your number ;)_

Michael quickly shut his phone off, dropping it by his side.

He couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face. He wasn’t too sure as to why; maybe it was because those few texts were the only thing he had close to a real conversation with someone other than his moms in the past few weeks.

Maybe it was something about the little wink at the end of his last message.

He thought it over as he pulled on some shoes, quickly tying his laces into a loose knot. A quick glance at his clock told him it was 12:30. He had five hours until his first session back with Dr. Cole, and he didn’t want to be late.

He’d have to be back home by around five unless he wanted to bring the journal he’s been keeping with him to the mall, and he didn’t really want to risk losing it. Dr. Cole had asked him to keep it for if he ever decided to come back again since he knew Michael found certain things difficult to talk about out loud.

Michael shoved his phone into his pocket, grabbing his wallet and his keys.

He walked upstairs, gong to the living room where he had left his headphones the other day.

“Oh, mi’jo! Where are you going?” Diana asked, sitting up from where she was cuddling her wife.

“To the mall. I have something I gotta pick up from spencers. I’m going to get food there too before my session, so I’ll be home by 5 before I go. Do you guys need anything whilst I’m out?”

“Eh I think we are all good. Thank you though!”

Mindy was glad to see Michael going to enjoy himself for once. Every day he kept to himself, staying in his room at all times apart from dinner, or if his moms had decided to hold a family game night (which he swore he never cheated in, even if his moms never believed since he somehow always won.)

“Alrighty then. See ya!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael knew he said he didn’t need it. He thought he could go one day without it, and he really did try! But sadly, his cravings became too much.

He needed his 7/11 slushie.

He needed one now.

And that’s how he ended up parking in the 7/11 parking lot, headphones on as he waltzed in. he looked through some of the aisles, picking out a few snacks. He always got peckish, and his stash at home was being quickly devoured.

Spending more and more time at home meant eating more out of boredom for Michael, and he can’t say he hasn’t put on a tiny bit of weight because of it (luckily his hoodie was big enough that it didn’t make much difference.)

He picked up three packets of Doritos, two boxes of Twinkies, a bag of Hershey's Kisses and two bags to Jolly Ranchers.

Turning out of the aisle, Michael froze. What was Rich doing at his local 7/11?

And just why did he have to be there now?

Michael could not deal with him today. Today was his day.

He watched as rich glanced around, walking down an aisle. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He began to walk out of the aisle, going towards the Slurpee counter.

“Hmm… let’s go for cherry today. Tomorrow I’m definitely going to start cutting back, so let’s end with the best.”

Michael placed his items beside him and grabbed a cup, filling it to the brim with a grin on his face. He put the dome lid on, moving the cup back to the machine before filling it until the dome was full. He took a straw and stuck it in the cup, biting his lip as he turned his head. He saw Rich out of the corner of his eyes and quickly turned away, hoping the other didn’t notice him.

He grabbed his stuff, scurrying away. He couldn’t go too far because he needed to pay for his things, but he needed to stay out of Rich’s way. He didn’t need that today.

Once he made sure the coast was clear, Michael made his way to the register.

Luckily there was no one else in line so he was able to walk straight up, happy to see his favourite cashier.

“Nicole!”

“Hey Mikey, nice to see you smile!” she said, laughing at his pouty expression.

“Come on, you know I don’t like it when people call me that.”

“Yeah but I also know you love me and that I’m the exception. I was wondering when you were going to show up for your daily dose. I almost got worried,” she said with a fake pout.

“Oh, cherry? Big day?”

His eyes scrunched up in a grin, lips taught.

For someone he only spoke to when buying his items, she seemed to know him pretty well. Then again, that was almost every day when he gets his slushie, minus her days off. She didn’t even seem annoyed at him for barely talking the past few days.

Maybe he should get her number and arrange to hang out sometime.

“You know me so well. Today marks the day that I, Michael Mell, get a daily slushie for the last time! And I mean it! I know that was meant to be yesterday but… One more day isn’t doing much harm to the streak.” He almost forgot he was trying to keep Rich from knowing he was there.

Nicole could only shake her head with a smile.

“You say that now, but I know you, and I know you will try sneaking in here to get another tomorrow. I’ll have you know, I’m working all day tomorrow Mell, and I see you leave this place with a cup in your hand, I’m revoking the discount I give you.”

Michael’s bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

“But it’s going to be Halloween tomorrow! What if I want a Halloween treat?”

“How about you don’t buy one today thereby breaking your streak and allowing you to get one tomorrow?” she suggested, shrugging he shoulders.

“B-b-but… Cherry!”

“It’s today or tomorrow Mell. Choose one~”

She began to ring up the other items he had, noticing he added a pack of gum from the little stand on the counter.

“Fine. I’ll have this one then,” he confirmed, lips tugged into a frown, nose scrunched up.

Nicole began to teasingly cheer her friend on, clapping.

“Woohoo! Enjoy your frozen goodness one last time within the next 48 hours. You know what; I’ll pay for this one, seeing as it’s a momentous occasion. You’re buying everything else though, I’m not that rich,” she said with a laugh, not yet ringing up the drink.

His eyes widened as he remembered the boy that was here, and must still be here considering he hadn’t paid for his things yet, and Michael knew he had picked up a few things. He better go or risk the boy approaching him.

He handed over his money, taking his change and his drink. He took a sip of it, almost moaning at the flavour. Cherry was always his favourite.

“Whoa whoa whoa, save that for your bedroom! I don’t need to hear it”

“Good, you never will again. Not even conversion therapy could get me in a room with you,” he said, faking a look of disgust.

She shot him a pout.

“That hurt Mell, that hurt” she said before laughing.

“Manage to get that kiss you’ve been wanting?”

“Nope. Still haven’t found the right guy, and you know I want it to be special. Haven’t been looking anywhere, especially not since Jeremy left. I’ve practically locked myself in my room, no time to meet any boys. At least I'll have these to get me through it,” he said, poking the bag of Kisses.

“Hopefully you will soon then,” she said with a hopeful smile.

“You deserve a great guy to share your first kiss with. Now get lost. You better keep your promise, Mikey!”

“Oh, you bet I will Nicky.”

Michael had to hold back a laugh when Nicole’s face dropped at the nickname.

“Now I’m starting to understand what you mean about the whole name thing… Go on, get out of here.”

“I’d say see you tomorrow, but now I have no reason to come here.”

“Ouch Mell, that hurt!”

“I’ll see you soon Nicky, don’t worry.”

“Oh fuck off,” she laughed, waving him off.

Michael grinned as he scooped up all his items, giving her a salute before he made his way towards the door.

Not before glancing towards an aisle, which Rich happened to be in, seemingly occupied by choosing what chips to get. He couldn’t help but watch as he took a pack of Cheetos off the shelf.

He took no notice of the way rich had glanced towards him, seeing the boy turn and walk away with the hood of his signature hoodie up.

He just walked out of the store, taking a large sip of his slushie, humming a Bob Marley song to himself. He didn’t even notice the way Rich stared, smirking a tiny bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> comment or leave a Kudos if you did!  
> I will try to write the next chapter quickly, but I might make it weekly updates, I'm not sure, depends on how quick I manage to actually write them but I'll definitely try to keep a schedule.


	5. Red all 'round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michaels at the mall!  
> We meet Evan (who once again is in no way associated with Evan Hansen), who seems just a little flirty towards Michael...  
> Who knows how that'll end up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's a little late, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless!

Michael walked through the mall with his headphones on his head and slushie still in hand. Sadly it was slightly melted from the journey from 7/11 to the mall, as well as having waited a bit in the car park of 7/11 too, sipping his drink. He wanted to fully enjoy the frozen treat as it was still frozen.

Plus he wanted to see Rich leaving. No reason as to why, he just did.

Still, being melted didn’t make his slushie any less delicious.

He wanted to get to spencer’s as fast as he could, but didn’t want to be running. He didn’t have the energy, nor did he want people looking at the weirdo running through the mall.

He decided that walking to the beat of his song would be the best thing for him to do; not too fast, not too slow. The perfect pace.

Not only was it a good pace, but Michael also found that music just made him feel calm, which he really needed.

He felt his stomach twist a little, cheeks somewhat flushed. He couldn’t really tell why. He was only going to spencers, which he’s done thousands of times. But that was with his old hook-up, now it’s a new guy and he wasn’t too sure how to handle it. What if he was cute? What if he was creepy? What if he-

No, stop it! Don’t overthink it. That’s going to do nothing but make nerves grow.

Everything would be ok. Maybe he could even make a new friend out of it, as long as he isn’t a creep, or too weird, and to be too weird in Michaels eyes would be pretty bad.

Maybe he could even be a friend that could replace-

Jeremy?

It felt as though his eyes were popping out of his head at the sight in front of him. His stomach churned.

There was his old friend, standing with a group of people. A group of very popular people at his school. _The_ popular people.

He couldn’t believe it. How? How could this possibly have happened?

Jeremy was one of the most socially awkward kids he knew, and he knew Jeremy like the back of his hand. How does he even talk to them? Where has his confidence come from?

How does he even tolerate them?

Jeremy always complained about them! Complained about how stuck up Chloe was, How idiotic Brooke seemed to be, how Jake… well he never complained much about Jake, just that he was a people pleasing dude bro, who also seemed to not care about whose heart he broke as long as he got laid.

Michael would be lying if he said he never had a crush on him to be honest. It was back in the eighth grade, but a crush nonetheless. (It quickly fizzled out when Jeremy complained to him that Jake had been boasting about already “doing the deed” with Chloe.)

Now there Jeremy was, Brooke almost attached to his arm as they both laughed at something Rich- wait, Rich was _here_ too?

Does the universe hate him? Is that it? Is that why all the people he disliked most in the world were all in the same place at the same time as him?

And he had to walk past them to get to where he needs to be. Just his luck.

Someone up there must really hate him, huh?

He quickly shook the nerves and fright out of his body, taking a deep breath. Maybe with his hood up, he wouldn’t be noticeable?

‘You wear the same hoodie to school every day. You’d be less recognisable if you didn’t have it on at all.’

He hated it when the voice in his head was right.

He just had to suck it up and walk past them. Easy as that. Maybe none of them would realise he was even a person.

He took a deep breath, then a big gulp of his slushie, mustering the courage to make his legs move.

Keeping his head low, Michael walked past. He didn’t know if they looked at him or not. He knew Jeremy didn’t anyway.

He wished the same could be said for them all.

With his headphones blasting music in his ears, he didn’t hear how Chloe whispered something to Jake, tilting her head in Michael’s direction.

“What a loser…” Brooke quickly chimed in, causing Rich to turn to see who they were talking about.

Headphones, once again. Of course it was him.

Michael quickly found himself at spencers, lips tugged into a smile. 

“Finally made it” he mumbled, sucking on his straw as he walked in, eyes glancing around the place. He passed different railings and stands as he walked through the store, going to the register.

“I’m looking for Evan?”

“He’s in the backroom,” the guy said, not even bothering to look up from his phone. He just gestured with his head.

“Thanks.”

Michael quickly made his way to the backroom, walking in nervously. He had no idea why he was nervous; he had been there many times before to pick things up. Now wasn’t the time!

“Oh, you must be Michael.”

A voice caught his attention, snapping him out of whatever state he had been in.

A quick look towards the source of the voice had his face going a little red.

“Uh yeah, I am he.”

‘Really? I am he? Wow I am so lame.’

“I’m glad to uh, finally meet you.”

“Oh, the pleasure is all mine.”

There was something about the way the boy in front of Michael grinned as he spoke that caused butterflies to take flight in his stomach.

Michael sipped on his straw, smiling.

“Do you say that to all the boys to meet back here?”

“Only the ones with lips stained red from Cherry flavoured slushies.”

Michaels face turned a shade of red that rivalled the colour the drink left on his mouth.

It was strange to say the least. He had never met anyone who could be this flirty, if he was flirting that is. Again, he had never met anyone who would be flirty towards him, but from his limited knowledge, it sure seemed that way.

He always thought he’d be more awkward, but it didn’t seem to take too much of a toll on him. In fact, talking to Evan felt a bit like talking to someone he knew for a while.

“Oh really?” he countered. “Red is a pretty popular flavour. You must say it quite often.”

“I’ve really never tried cherry before, more of a blue raspberry guy myself. Never got a chance to try it before,” the boy said with a smirk.

He knew just how to make Michael blush.

“Let me rephrase.”

He quickly turned towards the hidden crate of the items Michael came in for.

“I only say it to the _cute_ boys who come in with cherry stained lips, and come looking for discontinued sodas, such as,” he picked up a large bottle of the drink, “Mountain Dew Red.”

Okay how was this guy so good at this?

Michael could think of absolutely nothing to say in response, not knowing if him saying something was even necessary or not.

‘Of course you need to say something, idiot.’

“I guess this must be a practice run for when the cute guys come by then.”

Really? The only thing he could manage to come up with really had to be something negative about himself?

But, maybe it just so happened to be the right thing.

He looked up. Yes, up. Michael considered himself average height, but next to Evan he felt tiny. Maybe this was how Rich felt about Jeremy? The height difference is probably the same if he was honest. Jeremy never thought so, but he was definitely taller than average- anyway, he couldn’t help but giggle as he watched the boy whine, a pout on his face.

“Stop making it difficult to flirt with you.”

Now it was Evans turn to be amused. Michael's face went bright red, matching the colour of both the slushie and the Mountain Dew.

“Aw, is the cutie all flustered?”

How did he have this much confidence?! Seriously, it amazed Michael.

“O-Oh shush. I didn’t come here expecting someone hot to be giving me my supply along with flirty compliments, I pictured another awkward, 20 year old who looks like a stoner, like Theo!”

“So you think I’m hot?...”

Michael froze at his words. Did he really say that? Really? Of all the things to come out of his mouth, he said hot?

“That’s the only thing you picked up from that?”

“Of course it is, everything else wasn’t you calling me hot so it didn’t matter.”

“W-well I just mean, you’re tall, and like, have good hair… and a good smile…” he mumbled, his stomach fluttering more and more with each word he spoke.

Why can’t he be confident and actually speak like Evan can?

Why must he be cursed without the ability to vocalise his thoughts correctly?

A voice brought him out of his thoughts.

“Aw shucks, you are going to embarrass me if you keep complimenting me like that!”

Michael couldn’t help but look up in awe. This guy just seemed unreal, keeping his cool, being humble, shamelessly flirting, it was crazy.

And it was all aimed towards him of all people.

A loner, stoner, outcast kid who just wanted someone vintage soda.

“You are a pretty good looking guy yourself Michael… not what I expected when Theo told me about you. All he said about you was that you were someone who really liked retro things and that you were his most loyal customer. Told me that you always showed up when you were told about his latest order. I have to admit, I imagined some weird teenager coming in who liked to say ‘rawr’ unironically, but you were definitely a pleasant surprise.”

“Well I can’t say I’m not some weird teenager, definitely not a Tumblr kid, but if retro games and not having many friends is weird, that’s me!”

A small chuckle left the other's mouth. “That’s not too weird, honestly. Have you seen some of the people that come into this store? Geez, I’ve barely worked here a week and I have already learned to pinpoint what type of customer each type of person is.”

“Really? From what I can tell, you just need to see where they walk to when they first enter. I say so many people think I like to get freaky with how often they see me immediately walk to the back of the store. Not my fault you guys sell these things from the backroom!”

“Prove them right then! Walk out of it with a giant dildo or something, make them really think you like to get freaky with proof!”

Michael laughed, shaking his head.

“This is the mall most people from my school go to, if I walked out of the store with something like that, Jenna Rolan will have spread it around quicker than a highly infectious disease, and I really don’t need more rumours about me right now.”

“Rumours?”

“Oh yeah. More than I can count honestly, and if I have my school bully tell me about them one more time, I might lose my chill. Not that I can do much, seeing as I’m you know, not very tall, nor do I have the muscles to actually do any damage. I'm not a scary, tough-looking guy like you...” He immediately blushed when he realised what he just told the other

“Shit really? Kids these days, huh? Keep your head high. How bad can things really get? And if you need some scary guy to protect you, I’d be more than willing to be of service,” Evan said teasingly, a shy smile on his face.

“Now, Theo never really told me what I should price these as sadly, but, he did say he usually prices things around $10 a bottle. How about, I give you this one for $6? If he gets mad, I’ll pay the rest, but I… may have taken a liking to you, and I want you to have this, as a small friendly discount.”

“Oh really you don’t have to, I just got my allowance the other day and I can pay full-“

“Don’t be silly Mell. If you feel bad about it, how about I just get you to repay me some other time? Like if we ever hang out, you can do something for me!”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Now, how many bottles do you want?”

“I can just take two for now. I’ll definitely come back some time though, so maybe save a couple for me? It’s okay if you can’t.”

“Of course I can, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”

“T-thank you…”

“Here you go,” Evan said, handing the drink over in a small plastic bag.

“One red drink for one blushing red boy.”

Michael couldn’t help but whine a little, not liking the reputation he’s got for blushing around Evan. It wasn’t his fault the guy knew just how to tease him!

“Thanks,” he said with a small pout, “here’s your money. I still feel bad though”

“Nonsense! Don’t! Honestly, it’s fine. Now, go. I don’t get paid to hang out with friends.”

Friends? He really thought of them as friends already?

The thought made Michael stand up straighter, a wide grin on his face.

“Alright then. I’ll see you around?”

“Oh definitely.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michael had long since finished his slushie by the time he ventured to the food court. He told his moms he’d get food, and he was seriously craving some chili fries.

‘Man I got to stop eating like this and start getting like, salad or something. Do they even do salads here?’

He looked up at the menu.

They did, but his feeling of needing to try healthier options couldn’t beat the feeling of wanting to have fries.

He quickly placed his order, getting a drink to wash it down. Water this time. He didn’t want to open his new drink just yet, not when it reminded him of his new friend.

He felt strange. It had been a while since he had a conversation like the one he and Evan had had, even if half of it was shameless flirting on Evans part, but even the parts where it was just normal chit chat felt refreshing.

Who cares if it was more flirtatious than anything else?

What bad could come from that?

If anything, it was rightfully deserved. The universe had been shit to Michael recently, maybe this was its way of making it up to him?

Of course he’d rather his old friend back, but if that wasn’t possible, he was grateful to have a chance at a new friendship, maybe even something more.

He had lost himself in his thoughts, only being brought back to the real world when his order was called.

“Order number 83!”

Pushing his way to the counter, he showed the worker his receipt. When he was given a nod, he took the food and drink.

Moving a chair with his foot, he sat down at an empty table. He picked through the food with a fork, most of his attention focused on his phone.

He decided against music, the sound of the busy food court bringing familiarity to him.

It was one of the only places he could stand to take his headphones off and just listen to the world. Plus, sometimes you can eavesdrop on the must stupid drama and conversations.

Something about the place probably the loudness of food being eaten, mall music, and other conversations, that made people feel as though it was the perfect spot to gossip about people,

-“I swear, Madeline is such a slut! She acts all innocent, and guys fall for it, but we all know she does it so they feel like they are with something new.”-

Tease their friends with embarrassing stories,

-“Remember that time you had a killer zit on your forehead before you had your date with Rebecca?”

“Still managed to get in her pants though.”

Be annoyingly romantic,

-“Aw sweetie, you have ice-cream on your nose~ come here, ill wipe it off! Gah you are so cute, I could just kiss you!”-

Some people even thought it was a good place to talk about family issues,

-“Charlie… your aunt Linda has been hospitalised… they don’t know if she’ll make it.”-

It was a strange place full of strange people.

Even the normal people became strange!

It was like no one cared or realised that others can, and do, listen in on them.

Then again, a few weeks ago he and Jeremy about digestible nano-computers that made you be cool in this exact spot, so he couldn’t really be one to judge people on their conversations.

He was almost done with his food when he heard a few familiar voices. 

“Brooke! How many times do we have to tell you that no one wants to see you flirting with Jerry?”

“My names Jeremy-“

“Yeah whatever!”

Ah, Chloe Valentine.

Seems Jeremy didn’t have an easy time winning her over, and Michael could understand why. If Jeremy had pulled along some popular girl one day when they were hanging out, Michael wouldn’t have been too happy either.

He would have a hard time believing it to be true, not that there was anything wrong with Jeremy, well besides the whole leaving his friend of 12 years, but for someone to suddenly be close to someone else at the opposite ends of the schools hierarchy?

Unlikely.

You’d never catch Michael saying it out loud, but Michael had a deep routed respect for Chloe.

Maybe it was the way she learned how to see through some peoples bullshit, or maybe even how she plays the dumb, mean, rich bitch role so perfectly, that most people forgot how clever she is. She definitely uses it to her advantage.

Either way, even if he didn’t like her, he respected her.

He also respected how loud she spoke. It was a good indicator for if Michael needed to move to avoid them.

She was his personal bully alarm!

And he never felt more grateful of how loud she is than he did when he looked up.

The whole group was still together as they ordered food.

They were almost like a wolf pack. Did they really need to be together all the time?

Michael could tell Chloe didn’t like being there because Jake was there too; Brooke must have dragged her along.

Jake was probably there because of Rich, Rich was there because of Jeremy, (Michael had noticed how the two had gotten a lot closer as friends recently, and he couldn’t say it didn’t hurt to see,) and Jeremy was there because of Brooke too.

But why did they all have to be here~

Michael looked around, trying to see where they’d end up sitting, hoping he might be able to stay here and go unnoticed.

Of course the only free table large enough to sit them all was next to him.

Luckily, he was done eating, so it wasn’t as if he’d had to run and not get to enjoy his food. He just wasn’t entirely ready to move yet, but he knew he must.

He could not deal with them spotting him.

Taking a swig of water, he stood from his chair. He cringed a little as it scraped against the ground. He hated that sound.

He picked up his bag, glancing towards the group, only to have his breath catch in his throat.

Rich was looking at him.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of Evan?  
> Do you like him? Do you trust him?... ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter,  
> Comments and Kudos help motivate me!!
> 
> Until next update!  
> \- Robin


	6. Stupid Universe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Ric have a chat in the bathroom... how does that turn out?  
> Michael later talks to his therapist, Dr. Cole about some of the things going on in his life. He is told a few ways to help him, one of which he follows through with. Hopefully, it will help both Jeremy and him.

Michael all but ran out of the food court, leaving his empty food container on the table. Usually, he would bring it to the bins, but if he was honest, he would rather someone clean that up then any food that would come back up if they even came close to him.

He had managed to avoid confrontation and negative feelings all day, something he would definitely be bringing up with Dr. Cole later, and he did not need to feel like that now.

Please universe, let him have one day?

It was evident that the universe hates him.

Why else would Michael have been grabbed by the back of his hoodie and dragged into a bathroom?

Stupid Universe.

One day was all that he asked for. One!

But no, instead he was face to face with none other than the great Rich Goranski. Yippy.

“Are you stalking me or something, headphones?”

“What? Of course I’m not-”

“Then how come wherever I turn, you seem to be there? Checking me out or something? I’ve told you I’m not interested already, fag.”

“Rich, I don’t know what part of your brain makes you think everything anyone does is to get with you, but I was not following you.” He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes, not needing to go home with a black eye.

“Really? First Sev-Elev, then you came to the mall after me, and after that, you waited out in the food court! As I said, it really seems like you are following me around! It’s beginning to seem a bit obsessive. People might start thinking you are crushing on little-ol’ me~”

The toothy grin on Rich’s face showed Michael just how much the other enjoyed making him recoil back.

“Even if you denied it, everyone knows you are a liar. Sure, even listening to you earlier proved it to me!”

Michael's face paled. Rich had listened in on his and Nicole’s conversation? How is this guy just chuckling and grinning about this? Michael knew Rich was a shit person, but really?

“I mean, you never kissed anyone before? Really? Pick a better lie next time, you’re fooling no one. If I didn’t know you were gay, I'd even think you would be trying to make that girl fall for you for some sweet innocent guy act that girls seem to love.”

What does he gain from this?

“Get off of your ego trip and just let me go, I don’t have any time for this. I’ve never had a kiss, okay? And if people really think I am into you, I’ll be happy to tell them that I actually have some standards. Now, I need to… go…”

He tried to wriggle out of the other's grip, but it just seemed to get tighter, and all of a sudden he realised his mistake. Rich had pulled Michael towards him before slamming him back against the wall. He couldn’t help but yelp as he hit his head, tears involuntarily forming in his eyes. 

“You know, for someone who doesn’t like gay people, this sure doesn’t seem straight- agh!” he was pulled away and pushed into the wall again. He’ll definitely have a bump there.

He really just needed to keep his mouth shut. Usually, he’s great at that, so why was today the day he decided to be confident about speaking out. Maybe it was the universe just trying to make the entire situation much worse. Or maybe it was just remnants of his previous conversation with Evan making his way out of his system. Either way, it was definitely fading away, fear wrapping around him.

“You want to keep talking there, fag? Can’t seem to keep your mouth shut.”

“P-Please Rich- I have t-to go…”

“Oh? Promise someone you’ll get them off? Am I making you late? They gonna get mad and get all rough with you?” his lips tugged into a smirk. “You probably like that though, freak.”

“N-no please, I just h-have an apoi-appointment that I r-really need to get to so if you c-could just let me go that would be great.”

He didn’t care how that sounded. He didn’t necessarily want to say ‘Therapy’ because Rich does not need to know about that about him, but appointment wasn’t really helping to prove that the rumours weren’t true.

“Ah so I was right?”

“N-No!”

“Don’t lie to me, headphones. I don’t like liars, and you don’t want to be on my bad side.”

So what? Is this his ‘Good side’? Yeah right. This asshole thinks he’s funny, doesn’t he?

“I-I have a therapy session soon, asshole!” Michael hissed, not caring anymore. Anything to get away.

“Aw, are mommy and daddy finally trying to fix you?”

Michael sucked in a breath, eyes shut tight. He quickly shook his head, biting his lip.

“N-no, just need to g-g-go. Don’t you have anything b-better to do then keep people from getting help?”

He could practically hear the snarl on Rich’s face when he let out an amused laugh.

He opened one eye slightly, watching as Rich look him up and down. He let out a noise of confusion as the others eyes froze, cast downward.

Michael couldn’t help but squirm under his gaze. He didn’t like how Rich stared at him, but on the bright side, the grip on his shoulders loosened and Rich stood back.

“You… What the fuck is that?” the other said, pointing at the plastic bag in Michael’s hand.

He seemed almost dazed, shoulders tensed, almost as if he was trying to hold something back. Michael just hoped it wasn’t a punch.

Glancing down, Michael’s brow furrowed.

“It-It’s uh, Mountain Dew Red…”

“That’s… that’s been discontinued since ‘88… Where the fuck did you get it!?”

He balled up the front of Michael's hoodie, pulling him close with a threatening glare.

“A-At Spencer’s! I have a guy who hooks me up with 90’s stuff, in the backroom!”

Rich’s face was pulled into a grin. “He hooks you up or you hook up with- AGH!”

The boy tensed up, head thrown back as he trembled, groaning.

Michaels eyes widened as he watched, not sure what to do. “R-Rich? W-What’s going on?” he asked, biting his lip as he hesitantly reached out for his shoulder.

As soon as he tipped off Rich, the other jumped back, heaving as he stared at Michael.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Faggot!”

Michael flinched, nodding and backing up against the wall once more, pushing against it as if he pushed hard enough he could faze through it and escape from Rich’s clutches.

“S-s-sorry.”

“Just tell me who you get that type of shit from. Come on, I haven’t got all day!” he yelled, fist raised threateningly.

“T-Theo! B-but he’s gone for a while, so I got this off his replacement, Evan!”

Rich was pleased, nodding. He began to move away from Michael, the tall boy relaxing a little, one hand across his chest. He watched as Rich made his way towards the door, closing his eyes and hunching over slightly in relief before he felt all his breath leave his lungs. He doubled over, feeling like he was about to throw up, gasping for air.

He looked up to see Rich smirking, walking away slowly, shaking out his fist, mumbling something about knowing just what to do, before his voice raised to a barely noticeable higher pitch with a “really?” and a small gasp.

Michael could barely pay attention as he watched the door close and he was left alone in the bathroom, hunched over on the floor.

Of fucking course Rich had to make his exit with a weird conversation with himself, and punch to Michael's gut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His session with Dr. Cole had gone well.

Michael handed in the journal as soon as he walked in, discussing some parts of it in a bit more depth, such as what’s happened with Jeremy, his breakdowns, his Rich situations, the whole lot.

Mostly Jeremy though, seeing as he was a main cause in the resurgence of his previous issues.

Dr. Cole always knew Jeremy as the guy who was there for Michael. The guy who Michael could rely on for a friendly form of comfort rather than a professional form.

The guy Michael relied on for hugs he needed when he felt worthless, who told him all the things that made him amazing. Dr. Cole knew that Michael could seem like he had everything figured out, and like he radiated confidence, but it was just a front so it wouldn’t worry Jeremy. He had stopped being as open about his struggles, but Jeremy had developed the habit of reminding him of all the good things about him anyway.

He never thought he was weird, never called him a ‘loser’ with any malice behind it, as per what Michael said about him.

Dr. Cole noticed how big an impact Jeremy had on his patient’s life. He had a second home in Jeremy, felt secure and wanted.

It helped him make great progress with his fear of being abandoned.

So hearing that he had been treating Michael like he was a speck of dust?

It was a great shock if he was being honest. A twist he hadn’t been prepared for.

I mean, hearing that one of the two people who, according to Michaels mothers had been inseparable most days of the week, had begun acting like the other didn’t exist? You’d be surprised too.

“There was no falling out between the two of you?” Dr. Cole had asked, his notebook out.

“No! One day we were together, the next day we weren’t. And, he had like, a whole new wardrobe too...”

Michael had been curled up in his seat, hands twisted in the fabric of his t-shirt, his grip tight.

His eyes were cast downward almost the entire time he was in that room.

It was the worst Dr. Cole had seen him since his very first session years ago.

Whenever Dr. Cole stopped to take notes, the room would become so silent that Michael was sure his heartbeat could be heard.

He didn’t entirely like the silence, never did, but he couldn’t put his headphones on so he tried to fill it himself.

“In fact, the same day we hung out at the mall, he left me alone. That’s probably where he went, off buying his new clothes! I had gone to Spencer’s to pick up a case of Echto Cooler, but I told him I’d be right back. Came back five minutes later and he was gone! I thought he would be back soon, so I waited… and waited… and…” his voice became quieter and quieter.

Dr. Cole quickly took notice.

“Alright Michael, its okay. You are in a safe place, don’t forget that. That’s in the past, I’m here with you now and you aren’t alone.”

“O-Oh, sorry. Anyway, I ended up waiting for an hour or two, but he… he never came… and that was the beginning of him ignoring me.”

Dr. Cole was sure to write down his notes in as much detail as possible. He wrote of Jeremy ignoring Michaels texts, the very last conversation, the way Jeremy begun hanging out with Rich, who Dr. Cole knew plenty about from their old sessions.

To say Dr. Cole was at a total loss for words would be an understatement.

He had offered assistance on previous occasions where the two had a fallen out, but none of those times had lasted over a month.

He honestly wasn’t too sure what to do about it.

“I’m glad your mothers took what I said when we ended out sessions into account. I can tell, just by what you told me about Jeremy, that you began to draw similarities from your previous… situation. I’m glad they were able to remind you that despite similar feelings, it is different. From what I’ve heard, Jeremy was a great friend.”

Michael flinched a little.

“Keyword: was.”

He was tensed, shoulders hunched over. He knew he was being a bit rude, but he had a right to be. He’s been through a lot. He can be pissy if he wants to be.

“Yes, but I also know people don’t just change like that overnight. I’ve dealt with enough people to be able to see that. He is still the same Jeremy, Michael. He is the same guy you played video games with. He’s the same guy who snuck you a slushie behind your moms’ backs. He’s the same guy, but now it just seems like something has happened to him. Maybe he’s being pressured by that Rich fella, maybe its home life, I don’t know because I’m not his therapist. You said yourself Rich is a bad guy. But, what I do know is that as his friend-“

Michael cleared his throat, frown on his face.

“Oh stop that Michael! You are his friend. It seems like a cry for help, and as your friend, you should at least try help. Who knows, maybe it will help you out in the long run.”

And that was how Michael later found himself on World of Warcraft. He and a few of his online buddies finally found time to go on a large quest together. At least with his free time from not hanging out with Jeremy, he had been able to do a few smaller quests and gain a level or two.

His conversation with Dr. Cole wouldn’t leave his head.

Maybe he could ask around, try see if people have heard of a “squip”. Maybe if they have their stories will be able to tell him he needed to help Jeremy. Or maybe they’ll prove Jeremy really didn’t need Michael and he was better off without him… maybe the world would be better off without him.

Not like anyone would miss him…

No, wait. His moms would. He mattered, he was important. They were his life and he was theirs.

Their world wouldn’t be better off.

“I’m important…”

He wiped away a stray tear that found its way to his cheek.

Only a few minutes late, he and his online friends bested the quest and were having a nice little in game party. It was then that he asked the question.

“Hey, have you guys ever heard of this thing called a squip?”

“A what?” the one who went by the name ‘Blazinghero’ asked.

Michael was quick to reply. “A squip. It’s this thing from Japan. Tells you how to be cool and shit like that apparently. I’m trying to get more info on it.”

“Couldn’t you just google it or something?” asked ‘DoomBringer86’

“Tried that. Found nothing though. My uh,” he hesitated a little when it came to the next word, “ _friend_ told me about it.”

“How did he hear of it?”

That was ‘br0wnbuffal0’

“Some guy at school. Our bully actually.”

“Why was he telling him about it?”

‘Geeze, br0wnbuffal0 seems really interested in this.’ He thought to himself, brows furrowed.

“Wanted to sell one to-“

“Don’t buy it.”

“What?”

Another voice cut through, their leader’s avatar walking over to the two.

“What are you two blabbering about?”

“This thing called a squip!” ‘DoomBringer86’ chimed in once more.

‘Br0wnBuffal0’s avatar turned to face Michaels.

“Hey you have my discord right? After that last quest we did together?”

“Yeah dude.”

“Good. Message me on that. Imma log off. See you dorks next quest!”

And with that, ‘br0wnbuffal0’ went offline.

Minutes later, a notification popped up on the bottom right of his screen.

“Hey guys, I have to go. Don’t forget that I’m open to side quests!” Michael said quickly, getting a quick “Bye” from the others before logging off.

He opened discord, quickly checking his latest messages. He froze when he saw Jeremys contact near the top. Of course, not the very top though, as it wasn’t him that sent the message, much to Michael’s dismay. He hadn’t gotten any message since Michael’s last one the morning of _that_ day in school asking if he wanted to come over later that day for more AotD.

Of course it went unread ever since.

Shaking his head of the memory, he opened the newest message.

Turns out ‘br0wnbuffal0’ knew quite a bit about squips, hearing about them from his brother. He told the story, alongside how it ended, or well, how it’s still playing out.

After reading through the messages they sent back and forth, an hour after the conversation ended, he only had one thought running through his head

‘Shitty shit balls Jeremy. You big shitty shit ball.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Michael in the mall!  
> Next chapter will be...  
> Halloween! (part 1)  
> Please give kudos and comment! let me know what you think so far!
> 
> Ive also started an instagram,, might post updates on my writing, as well as other random posts, so follow it if you want!!  
> https://www.instagram.com/blue.headphones/
> 
> Thats all for now!


	7. It's Halloween! (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael sneaks into the biggest party of the fall.  
> Whats going to happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this came out a day late,   
> yesterday was my birthday and I was way busier than I thought I would be with my brother coming to visit!  
> Tell me what you think of this chapter in the comments!

He couldn’t believe he was seriously doing this.

Sneaking into Jake's Halloween party?

In his head, Michael couldn’t help but think of it like walking into a boss fight on level zero with no weapon. He was walking into the belly of the beast, the party for the most popular of the school's hierarchy.

All for his ungrateful friend, who stupidly ingested a computer without checking the warning labels, so now he had to go and be saved!

And why did he just have to feel warm inside for the chance to potentially get Jeremy back? He should be mad, angry, but he couldn’t… well not fully. He had a lot of words he wanted to say to him, but the thought of even a hug gave him the strength to throw together a disguise and risk being beaten up by Jake's jock friends.

He pulled his costume on, creeping up the stairs. He needed to be as quiet as possible, not really wanting his mothers to hear. They didn’t need to know he was sneaking into a party. Where people would be drinking.

No, if they knew, they wouldn’t let him go, especially alone since they knew he had no friends in school, well, no friends at all.

Michael peeked into the living room, seeing that his moms were watching a scary movie with the lights off. He couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face, watching them curled up together on the couch. He always loved their relationship, basing his dream life in the future on them.

Their love was just so pure, both towards each other and to him.

That’s why a knot formed in his stomach. He hated lying to his parents, but he’d do anything for Jeremy.

He had to do this, to help him.

Quietly closing the door again, he made his way to the front door, hurrying towards his P.T.Crusier. He turned it on, quickly driving of the drive way, making his way to the Dillinger house. It was one of the biggest houses in the area. Everyone knew the Dillinger’s and where they lived, so Michael knew his way there.

He passed his usual Seven-Eleven.

He gave it a quick glance, considering stopping but shook his head. He had a point to prove to Nicole!

After a while of driving, he found himself driving down a winding road, nearing his destination.

Pulling up, he made his voice sound like Siri’s. “Your destination is on your right.”

Taking a deep breath, Michael opened the door. Glancing around, he took notice of a group of people in costumes making their way to Jake's front door.

Some of them already seemed drunk as they stumbled and leaned against each other, so he found it easy to blend in with them once he pulled on his mask.

He stuck close to the drunk ones, hoping they wouldn’t realise they didn’t know who he was.

Once he got inside, he broke away from them as they made their way towards the living room, not wanting to get caught up in the mix of people dancing against each other.

No, instead he went to the kitchen with one objective; get beer.

He needed something to help him calm down a bit, a mental distraction of sorts.

Usually, at the thought of doing something like this, he would have smoked a little, but he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t get high or else he wouldn’t be able to properly tell Jeremy all that he found out.

He hung back from the crowds, keeping his head down. He kept an eye out for his friend, hoping to catch him alone. That might take a while though; Jeremy seemingly had someone new at his side every second.

It confused Michael to no end. The Jeremy he knew didn’t like situations like this. He never did.

How much did the squip change him?

He took a quick glance around, taking in all the people who were around.

Dustin Kropp was with Rich, seeming to be passionately arguing about something, Michael didn’t really care what.

As long as they kept their attention on each other, he was happy.

Michael looked back where Jeremy was, eyes wide when he noticed the boy was no longer there.

He frantically looked around the room, trying to see where he went, and could only catch sight of Chloe leaving the room with a smirk.

Probably bringing some poor soul to sleep with her.

He shook his head of the thought. He had to try finding Jeremy, making sure he didn’t leave without hearing Michael out.

Pushing past people, he grabbed another red solo-cup of beer on his way.

It was petty, but his slightly drunk self-made a particular effort to shove Rich a bit as he passed, making him stumble into Dustin, and spill his drink on the other's costume. Michael hurried out when he heard Rich’s annoyed yelling directed at his back.

Making his way to the hallways, Michael glanced at the people crowding around, singing along to songs, making out in corners, dancing with their drinks in the air, spilling out on the floor.

He cringed a tiny bit as he felt the sticky floor beneath his shoes as he walked, trying to escape to the bathroom. Luckily it was empty, so he just decided to hang out there. Who knows, maybe Jeremy would walk in?

So he laid there in the bathtub, sipping at his drink. He wasn’t necessarily a lightweight, but he knew he might not remember everything if he chugged it down, no matter how tempted he was to just get drunk and forget everything. He was at a party! He should be partying! Doing what all the other teenagers were doing and forgetting their problems. But no. Here he was hiding out in a bathroom hoping his friend would walk in…

Surprisingly enough that plan worked.

He had only been there a few minutes before he heard loud footsteps and yelling.

‘Shit did someone realise I don’t belong?’

“Jeremy you better fucking run!” he heard.

“The fuck…” Michael mumbled, eyebrows furrowed before he heard the bathroom door fly open. He stayed hidden in the bathtub, hoping it was Jeremy or else this would be seen as highly creepy. Luckily for him, it was his friend who burst through the door.

He stayed hidden, hearing his friend mumbling to himself, walking around the room before settling down on the side of the bathtub, hands holding his head up.

Slowly, Michael decided to let his presence be known.

He sat up, hand next to Jeremy, using it to push himself.

“Sup.”

Jeremy jumped up, squealing at the sudden voice from behind him.

“M-Michael? What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were invited to this party.”

“Oh, I’m not. Notice my clever disguise?”

He carefully shifted, trying his best to stand properly, showing out his outfit with his hands. He then began to shrug the outfit off, dropping it in the bathtub to reveal his outfit underneath.

A simple black long-sleeved t-shirt with the word “Creeps” in green, with shorts and his signature weed socks.

Jeremy just stared at him, frozen it seemed.

“You’re speechless. What? Squip got your tongue?”

“Its, uh, off…” The other seemed almost uncomfortable, like he didn’t want to be in the same room as him, or at least not sure of what to do now that he was without someone telling him what to do. It made Michaels blood boil.

“Oh. So that would explain why you're even talking to me again. You know something, Jeremy? I've been thinking of this moment. What id say to you. Even wrote myself a little script, a monologue depicting twelve years of friendship, and how you decided you had enough of me… Of course, I forgot to put it in my pocket and left it at home…”

He looked up at Jeremy, noticing the small, sad smile on his face.

“What?”

“I just… It’s really good to see you, man.”

Michael's heart fluttered and he almost forgot all about the squips. It felt a little like any of their previous disagreements, and they were just making up. Jeremy missed him! He was happy to see him!

But then he quickly snapped back to reality when he saw his friend move a little closer, seemingly about to pull him into a hug.

“It won’t be… Not when I tell you about…” Michel gestured to his head. It let Jeremy confused, but Michael really didn’t want to voice his thoughts. Now that he knew the squip was off, he was afraid to say its name, as if it would know and suddenly re-activate.

It only took a few more seconds before Jeremy realised.

“H-How? There's nothing about it on the internet-“

“Which is weird, right? I mean, what’s not on the internet? But, if that thing hasn’t erased your memories of me, you'll know I won't stop digging until I find information, which I have. I started asking around,” he didn’t feel like mentioning his therapist was the one who told him to try help.

“Asked some guys I play Warcraft with. This one guy told me about his brother, about how he went from a straight D student to a freshman at Harvard. You have any idea where he is now?”

“Really happy and successful?”

“He’s in a mental hospital. Totally lost it!”

Michael was standing right in front of Jeremy, hands on his shoulders.

Jeremy just avoided his gaze.

“I don’t see what that has to do with-“

“Think, man! We’re talking an insanely powerful super-computer. You really think its primary function is for you to get laid? I mean, seriously dude. Think about it! Where did they come from? What are they doing in a Highschool? In New Jersey! Of all the possible applications for such mind-blowingly advanced technology, do you ever stop and wonder what it’s doing inside of _you_?”

Michael poked Jeremy's chest, eyes glued to his face. He just wanted Jeremy to understand! He was just trying to help him.

“W-wow…”

Michael smiled a little. ‘He gets it.’

“And I thought Chloe was jealous.”

His face fell.

“Jeremy, I’m honestly asking!”

His friend became tense, face hardened.

“Really? Because I just think you are pissed that I have one and you don’t!”

“oh come on! You seriously believe-“

“Maybe I got lucky! Is that so hard to believe? Is that weird? I think after everything I’ve been through, the universe owed me something good for once.”

Michael felt a knot in his throat, jaw clenched tight. ‘I wasn’t something good in his life?...’

“I don’t know about your friends, brothers, whatever, but if you came here to tell me his squip made him crazy-“

“It didn’t make him crazy, Jer.”

“Oh… Well, see. There you go-“

“He went crazy trying to get it out.”

Jeremy looked up, shock evident on his face. The two boys stared each other down, Michael trying to hold back tears, Jeremy trying hard not to let his hard exterior crumble.

The only sound in the room came from the party outside, people singing, yelling, Michael could swear he could even hear a faint crying.

He silently begged for Jeremy to listen, to understand what he’s saying. For his words to just, get through to him.

To let Michael know he was enough, and he was wanted.

“Well then… I've got nothing to worry about. Why would I want that?”

Michael's heart dropped to his stomach.

Jeremy tried to make his way past Michael, heading for the door. He was quickly stopped, Michael standing in front of him again, blocking the exit.

“Jeremy-“

“Move it.”

“Yeah? Or you’ll what?”

Jeremy stared him down. Usually, Michael would have done whatever he said, wanting to just make Jeremy happy, but why should he now? He had more to gain from trying to keep him there.

“Get out of my way,” Jeremy said, standing back. He glared at him, almost violent in a way.

“Loser.”

Michael was stunned.

Jeremy easily shoved him aside, leaving him alone in the bathroom.

The door slammed shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out for next week's chapter where we see the aftermath of what Jeremy says, along with a few other things...  
> Thank you for reading!   
> Leave a comment and give a kudos
> 
> Instagram: @blue.headphones


	8. Halloween (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael faces the aftermath of Jeremys outburst...  
> And Rich seems a little unstable...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late upload, I found it difficult to feel the want to write,  
> I finished it though! ill try writing more, and will have another chapter out next week like usual

Michael felt his whole world shatter. His vision become blurry despite his glasses and it took his a second to realise it was tears forming.

He felt his throat tighten finding it harder to breath by the second.

A loud knock was heard.

“some of us need to pee!”

“I'm having my period!” he yelled back, putting on his best girl voice. He immediately cringed, knowing his lie was awful. No one could seriously believe-

“Take your time, honey”

Wow. Jenna Rolan was seriously gullible. Maybe that’s how so many fake rumours get spread around the school.

Michael quickly brought a hand to his face, wiping away tears. He tried to reassure himself saying “It’s okay… you don’t need him, everything is fine. You are wanted, loved…”

‘But not by him. He hates you. You heard him, he didn’t even think of you as something good in his life. You were just in his way. Can’t you see? Without you, he’s managed to get invited here, Jake Dillinger’s house. And you?... You’re hanging in a bathroom, alone, at the biggest party of the fall! Hiding from-“

More knocks brought him out of his head, eyes wide. He wasn’t ready to leave, not yet. He could barely feel his legs, and still couldn’t breathe.

His heart was racing. Eyes darted around the room.

He stumbled back to the wall beside the sink. He felt like his legs could give out from under him at any second.

Suddenly the sounds of the party grew louder, as did the knocking. He could barely hear himself think. He heard drunk girls singing to Whitney Houston, filling his stomach with dread.

‘You’re all alone whilst he’s out there, forgetting you, forgetting your history. You’re pathetic.’

It was too much. Everything was too loud.

‘Alone.’

“I’m not…”

‘Annoying.’

Stop it…

‘Creepy.’

It sounded like a sledgehammer was banging against the door.

‘Obnoxious.’

The singing grew louder, taunting him.

‘Good for nothing.’

No…

‘Worthless.’

I-it’s not true…

‘A Lose-‘

Cold water splashed onto his face. He didn’t know when he stood up, or turned the tap on, all he knew now was that his face was soaking wet as he looked into the mirror.

“This is a heinous night…”

He felt a bit better. Not perfect, but his head was in a better place.

Michael was about to make his way to the door, but then realised…

There was no knocking.

No banging.

The singing was distant.

Had he been imagining it?

It all felt so real…

“God… these panic attacks are getting worse…” he mumbled, running his hands over his face, taking a deep breath.

Looking up at the mirror once more, his face scrunched up. He looked disgusting.

“Why did I listen to him… Why did I come here? I should have just stayed home, watching cable porn or something… I should have just fucking offed myself yesterday… I…” his hands tightened around the brim of the sink, tears streaming down his face.

“I wish I was never born… Jeremy says the universe owes him one?... cause his mom left?... then the universe has some explaining to do. Or maybe it’s just what I deserve…”

He let out a sigh, wiping around his tears once more, feeling a little calmer.

A knock could be heard from the door. He froze a little.

‘Is this one real?...’

“hey, you almost done in there!”

Okay so it was real.

‘Shit, I’ve been here for way too long.’

Not looking back up at the mirror, he walked to the door. Remembering his costume that was lying in the bathtub, he grabbed it before walking out, eyes glued to the floor. He didn’t see who had been waiting, not caring about it. All he wanted to do was just get out of here, leave this house and never come back.

He made his way to the front door, the path surprisingly clear.

He almost made it out without bumping into anyone, no one recognising him. That was until a frantic looking Rich ran into him, yelling something about red?

“Yo, d-do you have any- Michael?!”

Michael froze, looking down towards Rich. Shit, he knew he definitely didn’t belong at this party. He was going to kick his ass, wasn’t he?

But… Rich looked glad, relieved almost.

The fuck?

“You-you have Mountain Dew Red! Don’t you! Y-You bought it yesterday!”

He had grabbed Michaels shirt at this point, balling the collar in his fists.

The taller was a little scared to say the least.

“I, uh, yeah… I-It’s at home-“

“You need to get it! I-I need it! I need to get rid of- AGH!!”

Rich let go, shaking. He looked like he was in so much pain.

H-how?..

“Your squip…”

His eyes opened wide as Rich gave small, almost inaudible confirmation.

“h-how do you know about- AGH! Never mind! I-it shuts them off! I-I need this thing out!”

He looked panicked, looking like he was fighting against something.

“I-I can go get it. I live close by!”

“Hu-hurry up! Please!”

With that, Michael ran.

He ran to his car, not caring about the stares he got.

Rich needed help… wait, Rich needed help?

And Michael was willingly helping?

He shook the thought from his head, knowing that it doesn’t matter if Rich was a piece of shit. He needed help, by the looks of things he need it badly. Michael would be no better than him if he didn’t try help.

He found a bit hard to drive with the pounding headache. Man, did he regret the beer. He needed to focus though! Who knows what’s at stake.

It took him about 5 minutes before Michael reached home, not caring if his moms caught him sneaking back in. he needed to find that Mountain Dew, fast.

After throwing the front door open, he ran down to the basement. God, why did he leave his room so messy recently!

It would make it much easier if he didn’t have to go rifling through all his shit. He checked around his bed, his desk, the TV.

“Think, think!”

He eventually checked his school bag, desperate. A large smile planted on his face.

“found you.”

Michael grabbed it, pulling It out of the bag.

He forgot that he planned on bringing it to school tomorrow.

He quickly checked the time on his phone, shoving it back in his pocket. He needed to hurry. He already wasted time on searching. He just needed to get back to that party, quick.

He ran out of the house, jumping into his car.

He tried to ignore his mamá running out to him, yelling his name. sadly he couldn’t ignore when she opened the car door as he was putting on his seat belt.

“Mamá I-“

“Michael what is going on?! You ran into the house, scaring your mother and I might I add. You never told us you were gone! Where were you?! And where are you going?”

“Mamá I just need to go, I promise I’ll explain later but I need to-“

“Michael this is unacceptable!”

“mamá, please!”

He silently begged her, eyes wide.

“Michael… what is going on? Your mother and I are both scared for you… you can trust us, you know that right?”

Diana looked upset. He hated making her feel like this, but he didn’t have time to explain. Rich needed his help, desperately. He knows no one else who would have Mountain Dew Red, especially one of Jakes friends at that party.

And, if this works… no. nevermind.

Jeremy wouldn’t want it out…

“I will explain but Rich-“

“Rich? That Goranski kid?” her expression paled.

“Is he doing something? Is he blackmailing you or something?”

“No! Mamá I can explain later, but he needs my help!”

His voice wavered at the end of the sentence.

“please… I just need to go,” he begged.

‘come on…’

“Fine…” she muttered, stepping back.

He mouthed a “Thank you” before closing the door again, turning the car on and driving out.

Everything seemed slow. It seemed like the universe hated him more. He was caught in a bit of traffic on the way, and some asshole cut him off, but he eventually made it.

Michael pulled up next to the house once more, jumping out of the car. He almost forgot to lock it. Not that that mattered. Who would want his car? He drove a P.T. Cruiser.

‘God, you’re such a loser.’

He quickly noticed people begin to run out of the house.

Confusion filled his head. Why were people running to leave? He pushed through and eventually made it inside. He immediately smelled smoke, coughing a little.

What had happened when he was gone?

“Rich?” he yelled out, easily making his way through the house now that almost everyone was gone. First he checked the living room, face scrunching at the loud music that was still playing. A quick scan of the room showed that Rich wasn’t there.

He knew he hadn’t left, he hadn’t seen him outside. It was easy to spot the short male, especially with the red streak in his hair.

He left the room, deciding to try the kitchen. The closer he got, the more he began to cough, the smoke seeming thicker. He felt heat.

A burning heat.

When he turned towards the entryway, his eyes widened. The Mountain Dew Red in his hand dropped to the floor.

There was a big fire. The cupboards were swallowed by flames, a melting plastic smell in the air as the red solo cups on the counters were soon found by the fire.

He darted out of the room, frantic in his search now. It was spreading quickly.

Michael ran to the stairs, noticing the way flames were dancing on the banister at the top.

“Shit. Rich!” he yelled, running up. he ignored how it got hotter and hotter, rolling up his sleeves.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.

He bit his lip, looking around as he reached the top.

“Why do they have so many rooms up here?...” he groaned, seeing a bunch of closed doors. He immediately went to open one, letting out short scream at the burning sensation in his right hand. Tears pooled in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

The metal door handle was searing hot. He was in so much pain… but he had to keep going. He had to find him. He wouldn’t be able to live knowing he didn’t.

There were random flames on the carpet, not spreading too quickly.

“T-this wasn’t an accident…” he mumbled.

“Rich! Rich where are you?!” he yelled, hissing at flames licked at his shoes,

He heard a voice call back- Not Rich though.

“We are in here!”

He heard it from his left, noticing only one door.

Wrapping his hand in the material of his t-shirt, he grabbed the hand, jaw clenched with a loud whimper of pain.

As soon as the door was open, he let go, cradling his hand.

Michael looked up and saw Jake Dillinger cradling Rich in his arms who seemed to be crying, shaking. There was fire all around the room, smoke filling the air.

Jake was coughing, Rich was crying, and Michael noticed some of Rich’s clothes had holes burned into them, exposing skin that look too tender to not have been damaged.

“It isn’t working…” he heard Rich mumbled, tears muffling his voice.

Did he…did he set the fire?

“W-What happened? W-We need to get out of here!” Michael exclaimed, rushing over.

“Whenever I try to-to move him, he starts struggling. Already managed to punch me in the face.”

“M-Maybe if I help, we can lift him. I’ll get his legs if you can grab his arms?” Michael suggested. When he heard Jake agree, he held Rich’s ankles tight, grunting as he tried his best to keep his grip tight.

“one.. two..”

They lifted Rich up on three.

“God for someone so small, he sure is heavy,” Jake groaned, changing the grip for a better hold 

“Come on, lets just hurry!”

They ignored all of Rich’s cries and screams, pleading for them to let him go. They kept their grip even tighter. They got him out of the room, not letting the pain of the fire burning around them get to them. They couldn’t. if they did, it would only slow them from getting to safety.

Upon reaching the stairs, Michael noticed how they looked unstable. Flames were close to completely engulfing them. They were definitely going to be at least a little burned by the time they got down.

Michael felt sweat dripping down his face, the heat being almost being unbearable. They more than likely only had a few minutes left.

Michael felt Rich begin to struggle harder.

“shit.. please, Rich!” he yelled.

He took a step down the stairs, grip loosened a tiny bit. It was hard to keep his grip when his hands were in so much pain. He could already feel the blisters forming.

It all happened so fast.

Rich had gotten a foot loose and all of a sudden, Michael felt a kick to his chest and a sharp pain on his back as he hit the stairs, tumbling backwards.

He groaned as he landed at the bottom, holding his head. He could feel some blood.

“shit…”

“Michael!”

He opened his eyes and saw Jake, still holding Rich at the top of the stairs who was struggling even more.

His eyes glanced down and he noticed what Jake was yelling about.

His fall had broken some of the banister and a few of the steps.

How would Jake and Rich be able to get out now?

The smoke around him was becoming too heavy, his vision was getting cloudy.

The last thing he heard was a loud smashing sound from upstairs, coupled with a scream of pain, and sirens outside the house, people in heavy boots running in.

The last thing he felt, was a pair of gloved hands lifting him, carrying out into the fresh air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block is awful :(

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Please be sure to leave a comment down below and give some criticism/feedback and maybe drop a kudos!  
> I promise it will be getting better, both story-wise and writing-wise.  
> Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter, which may not be too happy...


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